Bumper Sticker Philosophy

Reiteration is important so as it helps you maintain continuity in your thought processes and assists in keeping discourse more or less on point.  So to reiterate: any thought that can fit on a bumper sticker is really not a full philosophy.

So perhaps I should expand on that instead of just repeating it ad nauseum. Let me start by submitting a phrase I like to say that might look good on the back of your rear window: ‘A view point on any subject boiled down to one sentence is more useful in starting a debate than ending one.’

I love the image of a group of Greek philosophers hanging around discussing things, listening, nodding sagely.  It’s not easy to imagine one of them stating his thoughts, microphone dropping and wandering away leaving everyone befuddled as to what he just dropped and why he was so dismissive of their opinions.  Today it’s more like being in a bar, someone ‘meme drops’ and then shouts the slogan over and over till you go to the bar to talk to someone who can at least listen for more than a sentence… such as the ever helpful bartender (shout out to the hardworking men and women of the bar, thank you for your service. It is why I tap the bar after I toast; one should show respect where respect is due).

One could argue that listening is dying art and it is true that most people listen only to respond, not to actually hear.  I think we can attack the issue from another angle as well.  I like using the phrase ‘meme dropping’, you pull out your phone and instead of talking about something, you show a picture or twitter that you feel encapsulates the argument, then the phone gets put away and the conversation moves to another thread.  Again this should start the conversation, not end it.  It makes you look smug and pretentious if you think that is enough or that you are doing anything other than belittling the feelings and opinions of those around you who might have more to say because you have a meme at the ready.

Really I could go on for pages writing about how people are so quick to put up a post on a humor site that has a barely thought out  slogan over a picture that is only tenuously related and think they have reinvented the wheel in regards to whatever subject they are commenting on and we should all stand amazed. I am fairly certain if you have come to my corner of the internet you have already passed through enough of this that I don’t need to write that much.  Frankly it would just come off as bitchy anyway.

Here is a phrase from a bumper sticker that a friend (yup, a teacher) thought should be enough to end any argument about school funding: “It will be a great day when our schools get all the money they need and the air force has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber.”

Hearing that nagged at my consciousness for a while.  It was just one of those things that I felt wasn’t right but seemed to hit the right notes.  Like a girlfriend saying ‘We have time off we have to spend it together’.  It sounds so very reasonable on the surface. Sure spending time with your significant other is what you are supposed to do right?  But do you want to turn it into an obligation?  Now I see that the bake sale bumper sticker more useful if seen as an opener.  This is really not an end to anything and is really about two things almost completely unrelated to the other. It does bring up interesting points worth considering and discussing!

The first thing that should be noted is that they are not mutually exclusive, they are barely connected.  If the military loses funding it doesn’t mean it goes to the school, nor vice versa.  Assuming they were somehow that connected, if you look at this in terms of a general hierarchy, I would submit that defense is a greater priority than a school itself.  If you are invaded it doesn’t matter how much money your classroom gets, the new overlord tells you what you learn.

This conversation also requires knowledge we don’t have so perhaps the phone should be pulled out not to show your school mascot crying on a bench but to answer a few questions. Such as how much does either get out of the total tax revenue? Are the percentages what that matter or the gross?  Is this elementary school/middle school/high school, does that change anything?  Is either garnering debt faster than the other? What is the effectiveness of each? Are the tests actually telling us what they are supposed to? I’m not even asking all the right questions!  Why doesn’t the military send reservists to teach you how to punch out bullies for gym class thereby creating some overlap and rendering the point moot? Is the F-22 sexier than the A-10 (yes, but by God my parents will approve of the A-10 more if I brought her home)? So many questions.

The US does spend a lot on military that seems to be good at winning, but does that mean we are overusing it?  School spending goes up every year and while studies do differ, all agree the US is probably in the top 5 worldwide in terms of spending yet scores are decreasing against the global average.  So do the schools really need bake sales or do we question where is the money actually being allocated? If they are that desperate for funds, is there no other program in the entire multi trillion dollar US budgets that can’t be changed to help? Does the military have to spend as much as it does on tanks when they are largely ineffective against modern remote weapons? Does this mean that the military is over funded?  Does this mean the schools are underfunded?  Possibly yes, possibly no.  And why didn’t I get more dates in high school… I mean besides me being awkward and mopey as hell?

Despite me asking so many questions and trying to dig down, the point of this post isn’t to actually argue over the phrase the military or the schools.  The point is to show you that a cute phrase or meme drop is not how you, or others, truly understand a topic, persuade another or end a discussion. I think the above is a worthwhile phrase that is worth exploring and should possibly be brought up when you begin your bar round table because it’s clever and that’s fun.  Just don’t think you are going to get anything other than frustrated friends, who are quite capable of thinking for themselves (in general), if you try to end on it.

Should this be profound? I feel like it should.  A site called bumperstickerphilosophy.com should start out with a less than subtle profundity.  I cannot bring myself to do it because I believe strongly that any argument, or life philosophy you have developed, or even gleaned over the years, cannot and should not be able to be boiled down to a bumper sticker.  If something is truly profound or life defining, it shouldn’t be legible on the back of a car or stamped on the front of a t-shirt.  (Though I am not above trying to sell a few).

Can you fully and truly define your philosophy on any matter in a twitter post?  You can make a statement, for certain, but does that cover how you got there? Why what you said is relevant or worth considering?  In what ways was your thinking tested to make such a conclusion? You must also consider how are you really conveying anything of value to another person.  Let it be noted that many conversations can be valuable even if nothing noteworthy was ever exchanged. Raise your hand if you have ever been to a bar and had a two hour long conversation with stranger who became your best friend yet never spoke to them again or can even remember what was said. I should also note that even bumper stickers have value after a fashion.

The real issue is are you actually trying to convey your philosophy on an entire strata of thought in one sentence and still think it has deep intellectual weight because its in the form of a pun or there are cute pictures attached.  I think we can all agree that the words ‘intellectual’ and ‘pun’ probably shouldn’t even appear in the same sentence together without sarcastic quotation marks.

I want people to be challenged in their thinking, if only a little.  I grew up in a larger family (yes my parents were catholic how did you know?) and if there is one thing you learn it is pride swallowing and humility.  That and how to viciously defend your dinner plate with a plastic fork; the barbarians are always at the gate. You might consider this middle child thinking because, often, you will never get the attention your older siblings or compete with the volume of the younger.  You gain insight when your speech is consistently drowned out by someone shouting the first thought that enters their head, no matter how funny, which helps you realize a simple truth that bears a lot of thought: I am not necessarily wrong and they are not necessarily right.

Let me lay some cards on the table: I regret past instances where I have been dismissive with my opinions and obnoxiously pretentious when talking about the lives of others and by baby Jesus in his footy jumper I know I am far from perfect.  However, I did not come to my thinking, on any subject that will grace this blog, overnight. Perhaps I write to lambaste a culture where whoever yells loudest thinks they have won something tangible or perhaps in every normal circumstance and conversation few people no matter their intellect are rarely allowed to finish a thought before someone throws out a quip they believe encapsulates their entire argument and should shut down all others.

In the end I know this: no philosophy on any subject, that is truly worth adherence, can be so simple it fits on a bumper sticker.

Gaius Austen (G.A.)

 

PS. This blog is powered by dry red wines, amber beers, Irish whiskeys and a staggering amount of irony.